a cranky clean freak

I’ve been constantly lack of sleep since I started work. I’m afraid I might explode one day. It’s not that I become cranky, but I feel tired all the time and like I don’t have time to relax. One of the biggest contributions to my lack of sleep is my workplace; it’s so far from my house.  I’ve spent three hours for my journey back and forth. On top of that I still cook for lunch and dinner (just because I enjoy doing it), so I sleep only about five to six hours every night. It helps a bit when I can get a seat on the train so I can nap for half an hour. It’s still difficult for me to allocate my time to fit in everything I want to do. I probably need to make a timetable.

Since we have our own place, we sort of need to manage it by ourselves. I am a very particular person; I frequently clean or try not to make a mess so I don’t have to keep cleaning it. It makes me feel fresh when I see the house clean. Something YF obviously can’t understand; he is a messy person. Messy helps him to work or study better, he said.

I guess I am a neat or clean freak. I feel happy when I come home to a clean and tidy living room. The world is messy enough, so why would I not want my place to be organized? I remember the first few weeks we just moved in, boxes everywhere, dirty floor, unfinished kitchen cabinets… I felt super stressed. It was chaotic. YF doesn’t really care if the plates are not washed for a day, if the floor is not swept for one week, or the rubbish is not thrown for a few days, but I do. Sometimes I get agitated when I see the house is messy and start to nag him. It pains me, though, to see him unhappily do what I nag him to do.

 It’s difficult for me to understand that everybody is different. This is an area I don’t quite master yet. I am trying hard, though. So I figured I have to slow down, loosen up a bit. Monitor for a few weeks again.


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